Guarded But Still Afraid

I hate mosquitoes, but I think I hate their sounds more.

Some days ago, I spoke with mum on the possibility of her sending me a mosquito net, as fumigation and insecticide sprays are not helping much again. I began picturing me under the net, like it was back in school a few years ago.

It was a funny scene that brought back some memories. I'd crawl into the net and tuck it into my mattress, then lay there to sleep. But most times, I'd keep hearing sounds of mosquitoes that had invaded the room, and they'd come so close as to hit the net.

In the early days, when I heard them that close I'd be scared they had made it through my protection and were inside the net to attack me. I would find it hard to sleep, because of the sounds I kept hearing. But I soon learned it wasn't so. In fact, I'd wake in the morning to find those stubborn ones that had tried to defy the net ended up dying on it. The net was medicated, so it could kill any mosquito that perched on it.

This brings a picture to mind, one that plays out in the everyday life of Christians.

Do you dwell in the secret place of the Most High? Do you abide under the shadow of the Almighty? Do you know His power no foe can withstand? Or are you under cover yet afraid of the enemy?

Apparently, some of us, or all of us sometimes, get carried away by the noise of the one who pretends to be a roaring lion that we forget we are under protection and begin to panic. Like me under the net in the early days, some are without peace even though we are under the best protection there could ever be.

We worry about all the news and rumours more than those who are outside. We are the ones who echo the songs of recession, depression, unemployment, bad economy more than those who don't have the guarantees that we do enjoy.

We are the ones who fear most. We fear losing out jobs, our business running down, our house being burgled, our kids kidnapped, our daughters being raped, even our phones being stolen. We constantly meditate on negative possibilities, just because we hear they are happening out there.

Are we without protection? Or do we not understand what refuge we are in?

Psalm 91 is such a beautiful psalm. To think that it was written by an Old Covenant saint, I am ashamed of myself for all the times I've let worry and fear get a hold of me.

I think I need to meditate on that psalm again. Let me go read it some more.